A nice lady from Rossmoor Leisure World in Walnut Creek, California gave this to me after I fixed her cable TV.

I’ve always liked long hair on men. Words such as “longhairs,” “the longhair community,” and possibly “The GEICO Cavemen” come to mind. I thought it might be exciting if I became a “longhair.” But instead, (and of course) unfortunate words like “ridiculous” and “failure” are more appropriate for what we have here. Don’t get me wrong, I did have fun “doctoring” the picture with Photoshop.

Direct mp3 download or play:  How Dare You

Here it is, the collage that inspired the name of this dumb website. Maybe when you feel like punching a hole in the wall, give this a listen and your “things” will go up. Someday I might explain what “things” are.

Direct mp3 download or play:  Dreamo Sleeping Pills

This is from a recording my father made with a friend sometime in the 1940’s before he was married to my mother. I think it was made on a machine that records sound and cuts a record as well. The record itself is made of cardboard and is coated with some sort of material like vinyl. This one is bright orange and is I think seven inches in diameter. The disc has two holes, the regular one in the middle for playing and another one out about an inch from the middle. I guess the second hole was there to secure the disc when a recording was made. The record plays at 78 rpm and the condition of the surface is so poor (the vinyl like surface is actually cracking) that it is almost not playable. I did manage after several attempts to play and record it into a computer. The record was played on a Newcomb phonograph fitted with a General Electric variable reluctance magnetic cartridge. This unit is all vacuum tubes monophonic and is a combination portable PA system and record player with a twelve inch speaker. What is really nice about the amplifier in this unit is that it has a line level output built in and a dual triode 12AX7 vacuum tube as a phono preamplifier.  We had one of these at Alhambra High School in Martinez, California where I lived as a teenager and beyond. The recording was done on a PC computer running Windows 2000, with an older Creative Soundblaster Audigy soundcard. I think it was the same computer that I recorded “Ambience Recording June 28th, 2008″(you ought to check that out too) before it was upgraded to Windows XP. I had to use lots of noise reduction and dipped the highs around 6700 hertz down to -3 db to combat the extreme surface noise with Adobe Audition. I don’t think I was very successful, but the surface noise was even worse before processing. The sound here is an MP3 at 128 kilobits per second.

Dreamo

AT HOME WITH THE WEATHERMAN

Direct mp4 download or play:  Isis & Her Claws

Only the sound of the claws and some room ambience remain.

Direct mp3 download or play:  Outgoing Message – Dreamy

Direct mp3 download or play:  4th of July Ambience 2008

Here is what it was like in my backyard in Seattle, Washington on July 4th, 2008.

Direct mp3 download or play:   Outgoing Message – Organ

Direct mp3 download or play:  BRM 6-17-2008

A baby room monitor (BRM) was received on my AOR AR-3000 communications receiver at 49.845 megahertz, narrow FM on June 17, 2008. It was recorded on a PC running Windows XP with a Creative Audigy Soundblaster SE soundcard. The recording was made and edited using Adobe Audition 1.5 software and is presented here as an MP3 at 128 kilobits per second.

Communications Receiver

Communications receiver display close up showing reception of baby room monitor.

Direct mp3 download or play:   Outgoing Message – Regular

September 2005

Direct mp3 download or play:  Outgoing Message –  Outerlimits

The Grundig model number 121GDM17110384 dynamic microphone & Isis.

Direct mp3 download or play:  Ambience Recording

This is one of many recordings from microphones installed on the outside of my house in Seattle. The recording started at 2:10pm and originally ran 10 minutes and 32 seconds on May 18th, 2008. It was a .wav file at 106 megebytes. Later I edited the file in Adobe Audition 1.5. Now it is 8 minutes 13 seconds long, 7.53 megabytes and a standard 128 kilobits per second mp3. This is quite a lively recording. There are lots of birds. I think the neighbors are having a party in their backyard and it sounds like someone may be using a power sander. The microphones are cheap RadioShack ($2.99 each) condenser capsules and are the plug-in power type. I made a box that provides about 4 to 6 volts DC phantom power to each microphone. This box also blocks the DC voltage from getting to the inputs of the microphone preamp. As if that wasn’t enough I decided it might sound better with more bells and whistles. So after the signal from the microphones goes through the phantom power box, it then runs into Countryman Type 85 direct boxes where the signal is converted to a 3 conductor balanced line with XLR connnectors. Then the balanced mic level lines feed inputs 1and 2 on a Mackie 1202VLZ mixer. After that the channel inserts of inputs 1 and 2 are utilized. In series on the inserts are a Behringer Feedback Destroyer Pro DSP1100P operating in parametric equalizer mode and a DBX 166A compressor limiter. Then the signal runs the rest of the way through the channel strips including the 3 band Mackie EQ, the channel faders and the main faders. Oh I forgot to mention the input gain cotrols on the mixer are usually set at about the 3 o’clock position. Sometimes the input gain at this setting wil cause the Feedback Destroyer to clip or distort especially when I record The Blue Angels jets during Seattle’s Seafair festivities. Setting the input gain down to the halfway point or lower will prevent distortion during sustained loud sounds.Then the line level(and in this case the headphone output which Mackie says has the same sound quality as the main output) feeds my computer line in and the sound card is an older Soundblaster possibly an Audigy from around the year 2000. Also the microphones have been placed under the eaves of my house and I would guess they are between 60 and 75 feet apart and each have a piece of Kleenex or paper towel covering them. By now I’m sure you’re probably wondering if I’m nuts! But never the less I will be posting more of these recordings on this site especially when it allows me to upload more than 10 megabytes at a time. Happy Listening! Or not.

A NICE EFFICIENT WAY TO CLEAN

Direct mp4 download or play:  How to Use the Booper

Click on the picture for a large image